And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
