Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
