i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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