there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
