then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
