I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
