If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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