so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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