I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
