i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
two words: eviction party
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
