I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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