hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
