I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
They took my balls.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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