Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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