No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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