went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Fuck appropriateness.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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