Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
