We're like a lot better than the average bears
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
