Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
