he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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