wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
