I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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