no you cant smoke seaweed
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
