Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
