I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
