idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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