i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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