part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Also, beer. Big fan.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
