There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
