Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
