go do what you do best...puke behind churches
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
