problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
