So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
