I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
