We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
