she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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