I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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