Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
