i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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