I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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