When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
