You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
