my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
wow bdsm is so cute
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
