i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
