I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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