I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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