His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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