Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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