apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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