i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
