You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
